Well it has been almost 4 months since John has passed. We just finished the major all-stars in Yuma which was and emotional journey. The boys finished 2nd out of 10 teams and had to fight and struggle their way back from the losers bracket. the reason for the emotion was that John was supposed to be there with the the boys and I believe he was. Mikey pitched a no hitter and hit a 3 run homer on his dads birthday and Matt went back on a ball at the fence and continued to hit. MAtt Shaw had a card with John's picture on it the whole tourney. It meant a great deal to me to see just how much those kids loved my husband.
As for Lexi she has continued to work for the summer and will start Cross Country and Cheer this fall.
The older kids Jenni, Josh, and Jessi have been a constant source os support for me along with my parents, John's family and my friends,
I have moved into a new home with lots of space for the kids so it has been great the old memories of the house are often overwhelming for me so I believe the move was good. John would have been happy here.
I am moving on although very difficult at times. I miss the laughter and the human touch. He just had away of making us laugh and being alone quite honestly sucks. Even though I have an incredible support network I still feel empty and as if I have been punched in the stomach. This will pass.
I worry for my children and only hope I can be as strong for me and that I can be as strong as he was.
